It's June

It's June.  Holy moly.  2012 is going by so incredibly fast.  I told Brandon the other day that Christmas will be here before we know it.  And it totally will.  That's life.  It's going by lightning fast--which is good some days and tragic others.

All that being said, I'm going to go all "career blogger" on here and post everyday Monday through Friday for the month of June.  A small miracle, right?  So on to today's post...

I would say that my kids watch an average amount of television.  And lately I've been noticing more and more, especially on the Disney channel, little snippits and commercials about bullying.  And all those little snippits have reminded me of something.  Something that I super duper really regret now as an adult. 

In junior high there was a girl.  She had porcelain skin.  That's what I remember most about her appearance.  I remember her beautiful, clear skin.  She was in a few classes with me.  One of which was choir.  She was brave enough to sing solos on "Perfomance Day" Fridays and wasn't half bad.  We had the same lunch period.  I saw her several times a day. 

And she was probably the most bullied 7th grader in the school.

Looking back, she was probably picked out of the crowd because her clothes, her hair, her back pack were all wrong in the eyes of 13 year olds.  They were probably second hand, and in our school of upper middle class families, it stood out.

As a twelve year old, my heart broke for her when I saw her sitting alone every lunch period.  She wasn't even at a table.  She tucked herself under the window by the ASB office and ate there on the floor.  And so in my innocence, I started sitting by her after I had finished my lunch for the last five or ten minutes before classes started again.  

I probably did this for two weeks or so before I noticed the extreme bullying directed at her.  No one seemed to notice me next to her, but food would be thrown, words would be said, dirty looks would be made without any provocation from her. 

And that's when I quit.  I wasn't strong enough to handle it.  I have no idea how she was strong enough to handle it.  I only remember her getting really mad about it one morning in choir, and even then, her anger was pretty mild compared to what was being done to her. 

I have no idea what happened to her.  I don't even remember if she was there for 8th or 9th grade.

But I so regret that I wasn't brave enough to hang in there with her.  In fact, up to this point in my life, this incident is probably my biggest regret.  If my adult self could go back in time, I would hug both of us sitting under that ASB window and say to her "It's ok.  You are noticed.  You are loved.  You will be fine."

I worry about the school system that I will be sending my kids into.  I worry about what kids will say and do to my cute Reggie, Penny, and Colby.  But I hope they will be ok.  I hope they will know that they will have someone at home everyday to tell them "It's ok.  You are noticed.  You are loved.  You will be fine." 

And I really hope this girl had someone at home telling her the same thing.